Caring

For those of you who don't know much about me I am not very in touch with my emotions. I hold things in until I have a meltdown and then cry for a few hours. Now I know that this isn't the healthiest way to deal with things, but hey it is what it is. It takes me a while to open up to people and even when I do open up, I do it in tiny increments, which may frustrate the person (it frustrates the heck out of me too). I try to never cry in front of people because I don't like to let people see my vulnerable side. I will do anything to hold it in until I am out of sight which makes me think that I'm a little nuts :) I pretend not to care because that's easier than saying I care too much, which I do. It's easier to say I never cared at all than to look someone in the eyes and say I care about you and I'm scared to lose you. Although it may seem like I don't care at all, the reality is that I care too much and this leads to me always getting hurt. It has happened before but this time its different because the feelings I have for this person are magnified times 1000. When feelings are magnified this much things tend to get out of hand and of course someone winds up getting hurt, and that someone is usually me. And it looks like this time is no different. All I can do is sit back and hope for the best, the thing is I don't know what the best is right now. Maybe the best thing for me is to surrender because it seems like I am fighting a losing battle. Or maybe the best thing for me is to fight until the end and hope that its enough. Whatever the outcome all that matters is that I don't lose myself in the process, which is the most difficult part of all.

Another Year Older

Good morning everyone! Well as the title of this post states I am indeed another year older. Yesterday was my 22nd birthday and it was a really good one. All of my friends showed me some birthday love and I spent the day with 2 of the coolest people I know. My sister got me one of the best birthday gifts ever! (Season 1 of I Love Lucy on DVD, lol). All in all it was a great birthday, no wild partying required, lol. I've been feeling really good lately about things, I have a lot to be thankful for in my life and I need to start saying out loud how lucky I am for all that I have. A lot of things have been inspiring me lately but here are a few things that I want to share.

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone and enjoy this Memorial Day weekend. A huge thank you to every person that has served this country and been away from their families for years on end to ensure our freedom and safety. Thank you.

Realizations

I have come to realize that life always throws you a curve ball when you least expect it. Sometimes you strike out and sometimes you hit a home run, it all depends on how you view that curve ball. Things have been going pretty well for me I can't complain about life these days. I have been happy, work hasn't been too stressful, and I still don't have much of a social life but that's because I would rather sleep then go out at night :) Summer is almost here which I am not really looking forward to but I'm not going to complain because last summer was much worse. I'm trying to be more positive and surround myself with positive people who make me happy, and I think that I am doing a pretty good job of that these days. So here are a few pics that have inspired me lately!

Plans

I'm sure that most of us make plans on a daily basis, I know I do. I usually plan what I'm going to wear, what time I will leave for work, what I'm going to take for lunch, etc. And typically I find that all of those plans go straight out the window when I wake up in the morning. I find that the outfit I picked out doesn't look like I thought it would, I am running late, and I forgot my lunch and/or snack; again. So when my plans don't work out I try not to get too upset because better things usually happen anyway. Yesterday I planned on having a picnic with my sister, and well we didn't end up having a picnic. We did end up going shopping, eating, and laughing all day so I would say the day was a win! I have been feeling a little down in the dumps lately and I can't seem to figure out why. So I am trying to be more upbeat and less of a Debbie Downer, even if I don't feel happy I'm going to fake it til I make it, lol. I am going to try and spend more time outdoors and more time enjoying life, and less time worrying about things that I have no control over. Also, Happy Cinco De Mayo! I am sad to see this lovely weekend come to an end, and although I am not looking forward to work tomorrow I will try to cheer myself up with a movie. Maybe I will watch Singing In The Rain again ;)



Seriously, how perfect is this movie?



So delicious! Thank you Target, lol.





This is one of the reasons that do not like to take a lot of money with me when I go to Target. Candyland Band-Aids!



MAY!!!!!!!

Yay its May! :) I love this month for many reasons, the main one being that my birthday is on the 25th ;) This month is also filled with beautiful weather and so many things to do outdoors that it just makes me smile. Today I am planning on having a picnic with my sister at the park. And I promise I will take lots of pics to share. Here are a few photos from a campaign aimed at fighting hunger that I saw last month at a shopping center here in Philly!

Each display was made using cardboard and cans so that the cans could be donated once the displays were taken down. I thought this was such a great way to make people stop and pay attention to such an important issue that plagues not only our city but cities all across the country. Well have a wonderful Saturday everyone!

Procrastination



This picture pretty much describes my way of thinking lol. I tend to wait until the last minute to do everything, especially school work. For example, I should be working on my final paper right now but instead I am blogging :) With that said I have managed to keep my GPA high, so I must be doing something right lol. I do care about school very much don't get me wrong, there are just so many other things to do everyday, in particular there are many fun things things to do besides school work. Like catching up on some Zzzzzz's, which is one of my favorite things to do :) I am in for a rainy and gloomy week this week so I am going to get to work on my paper so I can enjoy this beautiful weather! Have a great day everyone!

Strange

"I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought, there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I am just as strange as you." - Frida Kahlo

When I read this I honestly started to cry. Sometimes you feel like you are the only person in the world feeling a certain way or experiencing a certain situation, but there is always someone out there who can relate. It may take you some time to find that person but you will and when you share your story they will understand every word you have said and let you know that it's ok. I have had so much on my mind lately and no way to express my thoughts or feelings so I came back to this blog to get it all out. I am planning a move for next year, a pretty big move. I will be living on my own for the first time in my life so I am of course nervous, but I am more excited than anything. I will be pretty far away from home so I am looking forward to a fresh start. I have been wanting to move for a while now but I feel like next year will be a great time to move because I will be just about done with school which will increase my chances of finding a good job. Everyone in my life has been very supportive of my decision so I have a great family behind me encouraging me and cheering me on. This month was pretty rough for me. Work was crazy stressful and there were days when I wanted to just quit and go home and forget about everything I have worked so hard for. Thankfully the school year is almost over and I will hopefully be going to a new classroom because I really need a change at work. Things in my personal life have going alright. School is going well, my GPA is still high which makes me happy :) I think that things are starting to head in the right direction. I hope to blog more, well as much as my schedule allows me to lol. Bye for now!

Always Late To The Party

The title of this post could not be more accurate, I am always the last one to know about all the cool things, thus being "late to the party". I just finished the Hunger Games trilogy and it was so good I read it in one weekend. Three books + three days = very tired eyes lol. I am so glad I read them though because they were really good books. Aside from devouring books this weekend, I also watched a few of my favorite movies; Guys and Dolls and The Devil Wears Prada. I am so not eager to go back to work tomorrow, but then again who is? I also went to the eye doctor and picked out my new glasses, they will be ready on Saturday and I am so glad to finally have an updated prescription, my eyes have gotten worse so I am in desperate need of new glasses lol. Spring is just around the corner which means warmer weather, outdoor concerts, picnics in the park, and bike rides are in the near future. I promise I am going to try and post more, but between work and school I barely have time to get enough sleep. I have also been so stressed out about the next couple of months that I am finding it hard to concentrate. Well here is to hoping that I have a good week, I guess that all depends on how I approach each day!

The Pretender

Hello everyone! I cannot believe that it is already March, the month of February kind of came and went in a flash. Spring will be here soon and I cannot wait for nicer weather. February was an ok month for me, could have better and could have been a lot worse. Work is still stressing me out everyday, in other words same complaints different day, lol. So here are a few things that got me through February!



This song! I swear I get chills every time I listen to it.

Green smoothies! I make mine with two giant handfuls of spinach, two whole bananas, and almond milk. So delicious!

This show! I have been watching this show everyday when I come home from work with my sister, lol. Thank you Netflix!

March is going to be a great month! Spring will be arriving and more importantly the school year is nearing its end, which means that major changes will be happening for me! Oh and how can I possibly forget to wish Dr. Seuss a very Happy Birthday!



Is This The Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?

Hello!  I haven't posted anything in a while (not that anyone reads this anyway, lol) and for that I am sorry.  I have just been super stressed lately, especially at work.  I don't know if I can handle it anymore, between work and school its cray cray, lol.  None the less, here I am.  My weekends have actually been really good lately, between going to the movies and sleeping in I have no complaints on that front.  Today is Thursday, so I figured I would revive Thursday's Thoughts.  So here is what I have been thinking about lately. 



Who knew a member of One Direction could be so insightful? Lol



Books! Books! And more Books!



Literary Genius

All in all I have just been thinking about life, as usual.  I am looking for a change, something dramatic, much more dramatic than cutting my hair :) I'm talking big life altering change.  Like starting my own business?  Who knows?  But I am looking forward to what the future has in store for me.   







Here We Go Again

Just when I thought that I was recovering from sickness, I feel like I am getting sick again.  It probably doesn't help that I eat a ton of junk which probably weakens my immune system even more, lol. Hopefully it isn't the flu, this weekend I am going to get my flu shot and start juicing so I can rebuild my immune system and cleanse my body.  Other than that happy Hump Day everyone :) I woke up late this morning and made to work right on time, after I was almost hit by a car on my way to work. That put me in a really bad mood for a while because I had the right of way and this lady totally came so close to hitting me, lol. But I didn't let it ruin my whole day, feeling sick did that for me, but I am not complaining because its my own fault, lol. I hope everyone enjoys the rest of their week, I am going to try my hardest to enjoy mine!



My Idea Of A Great Night...

Well it is Saturday and I am sitting at home painting my nails and listening to Oldies on my iTunes.  This is my idea of a great night :)  I am a very simple girl, I know, lol.  But seriously, I don't need to do anything exciting or fancy to have a great night.  Most of my great nights have involved family or friends just hanging out eating good food, laughing, and listening to music.  I have never felt the need to go to a fancy or expensive club to dance when my living room floor is just as good a dance floor as any, lol.  So the first week of the new year is almost over and it has been a pretty good one, if only they could all be so good.  But I am not complaining and I haven't all week which I am very proud of.  One of my goals this year is to stop complaining or thinking about what I don't have and be thankful for what I am blessed with.  I am hoping to start Bartending school this month, fingers crossed.  This is something I really want to do and if I don't do it now I never will.  So I hope everything works out, I could really use the second job right now.  It will be a lot to handle at first but I know that I can do it.  Have a great weekend everyone!

2013!

So here is my list of 101things I would like to accomplish this year.

1.        Open our own daycare center!

2.       See a Yankee game in Yankee Stadium

3.       Get 3 tattoos

4.       Visit a state I’ve never been to

5.       Go to a carnival

6.       Go on a hike

7.       Get my passport

8.       Create a scrapbook of all my 2013 memories

9.       Buy a beach cruiser

10.    Go to the beach

11.     Lose at least 10 lbs.

12.    Have a picnic in the park

13.    See a play or musical

14.    Visit the pumpkin patch or go apple picking

15.    Attend an art festival or art show

16.    Get my learner’s permit then my driver’s license

17.    Go to bartending school

18.    Attend a food festival

19.    Knit a scarf

20.    Write in my journal everyday

21.    Go see a movie by myself

22.    Watch the sun rise and set in the same day

23.    See a foreign film

24.    Attend the show of a band I’ve never heard of

25.    Read a book based on the cover

26.    Write a compliment and place it in a library book

27.    Send a postcard to someone

28.    Learn the history of something

29.    Plant a small garden

30.    Be proud of my accomplishments no matter how small

31.    Make two new friends (real friends)

32.    Treat myself to one thing I deserve

33.    Eliminate all the poisonous people in my life

34.    De-clutter my mind, body, and soul

35.    Start running 2 miles four times a week

36.    Find a pen pal and write to them as often as I can

37.    Keep my GPA at 3.8 or higher

38.    Get out of debt

39.    Visit Central Park

40.    Go to at least 3 concerts

41.    Pay for someone else’s coffee or meal

42.    Create a journal full of all my favorite quotes and poems

43.    Throw a party

44.    Take a beginners yoga class

45.    Go vegetarian for a month

46.    Complete a 10 day juice feast!

47.    Complete the 365 day photo challenge

48.    Seriously decide what I want to do with my life (career wise)

49.    Go to a drive-in movie theater

50.    Save $500

51.    Visit at least 5 museums

52.    Write down one thing I’m thankful for everyday

53.    Start a collection

54.    Take a picture for each letter of the alphabet

55.    Take a photo of the same place every month for a year and then turn it in to a calendar for next year

56.    Give up caffeine for a month

57.    Go bowling

58.    Go to at least 5 flea markets

59.    Try five new foods

60.    Try Indian food at an Indian restaurant

61.    Get a new pair of glasses

62.    Spend the entire day at the zoo

63.    Don’t eat out for a month

64.    Adopt an accent for an entire day

65.    Try to blog more (every other day at least)

66.    Buy a camera

67.    Purchase an original work of art

68.    Meet a celebrity

69.    Read 50 books

70.    Go ice skating

71.    Got to a casino

72.    Go a whole month without straightening my hair

73.    Start taking daily vitamins

74.    Get my ears pierced (second hole)

75.    Try red and white wine

76.    Take a cooking class

77.    Go skydiving

78.    Buy a bookshelf

79.    Make over my room

80.    Have a sleep over

81.    Get rid of anything that I don’t wear on a monthly basis (throw out or give away)

82.    Stay off of celebrity gossip websites (worry about my own life instead of celebrities lives)

83.    Learn a poem by heart

84.    Learn about another culture (any culture other than my own)

85.    Go up in a hot air balloon

86.    Go mini golfing

87.    Do one thing that scares the hell out of me!

88.    Watch all of the Lord of the Rings films (back to back)

89.    Establish a new family tradition

90.    Meditate once a day for at least 10 full minutes

91.    Eat at least 3 apples a day

92.    Take a sightseeing tour around the city

93.    Go to the PIFA Street Fair (April 27)

94.    Take more pictures (of everything!)

95.    Learn to be more grateful for everything that I am blessed with

96.    Volunteer 20 hours

97.    Get a manicure

98.    Take a nice family photo

99.    Ride on a carousel

100. Save $1 for every goal not completed

101. Make 2013 the best year of my life

I know that I didn't accomplish all of the things on the list that I made for 2012, but I am giving myself a break because 2012 was a tough year for me.  So here is to 2013, I am planning on making this the best year of my life!